White Sox fans are F#@%ing Crazy!

they also disregard the dangers of jaywalking.

Actual Satellite Photo of Wilma

Saints get screwed AGAIN!

It shouldn't surprise me. My grandfather's been saying it for 70+ years. The saints get screwed by the refs. And this year, they also got screwed by the league and a beeyatch named Katrina. How many new ways can they find to lose. He's the scoop. The Saints are behind in the 4th quarter (SHOCKER!) and Aaron Brooks completes a pass to Ernie Conwell, above. Conwell falls on his back and then some Ram player grabs the ball out of his hands and runs to the endzone. No whistle had blown, so they give'em a touchdown! You gotta beF'ing kiding me! And they can't review it, cause the play started with over 2 minutes on the clock and the saints were out of timeouts. How retarded is the NFL replay policy?!?! Jim Haslett said all the right things after the game, probably cause he doesn't have another 20 G's lying around. But even the guys on ESPN said, "well the NFL can't fine us, so we say that was about the worst call we've EVER seen. " And it cost 'em the game. The Saints are the exact opposite of LSU. They NEVER get a break. And i'm losing interest in even pulling for these guys anymore. Maybe next year when Brooks and Haslett are gone. I may be back. But I'm done with the Saints. They may get screwed left and right, but I'm not going down with 'em! Go Redskins! (ugh)

LSU will give me a God Damn Heart Attack

"I'm gettin' too old for this shit." - Sgt. Roger Murtaugh

That's how I feel every time i've watched LSU this year. Don't they know I work early on Sunday mornings? I can't keep staying up til 12:30 on saturday nights, risking cardiac arrest, watching LSU go to overtime or have to come back in the 4th quarter every week. This team is about as lucky as any I've ever seen. They lead the nation in penalties. They are worst in the SEC in turnover margin. They are also 5-1. I'm gonna say it was the "magic" of Tiger stadium on a Saturday night. The crowd was just incredible. They forced Auburn to burn all their timeouts by being so noisy, the players couldn't hear the QB's audible, so they called timeout to avoid delay of game penalties. And I think they rattled Auburn's sorry-ass kicker. HE MISSED 5 FIELD GOALS! This is the same guy behind last years infamous 2nd extra point game.

RECAP: Last year, Auburn scores late to tie LSU, an extra point wins it. This loser kicker misses the xtra point, but LSU is penalized with some obscure penalty that a defensive guy jumped on a linemen illegaly of something (Jim Haslet would call that a "Chickenshit" call.) So they kick again, Auburn wins, goes undefeated.

That magical tiger stadium wind was pushing kicks all over, even tiger kickers missed 2 field goals. But how does Auburn RB Kenny Irons rush for 218 yards and they lose!! And LSU's sorry ass recievers Dwayne Bowe and Early Doucet drop passes in the endzone that hit them IN THE NUMBERS ON THEIR DAMN JERSEYS!?!?! Jamarcus Russell was by no means impressive, but at least he didn't put the ball on the grass. The defense was great in a bend don't break kind of way. But this team is living on luck. And keeping me up late on Saturdays. And even though I complain, I still love it.

At least I won't see them play the next two weeks versus North Texas and Appalacian State (what happened to playing an in state team every year, Skip?) But I'll be looking forward to a 7-1 LSU vs 9-0 Alabama game on November 12. It's in Bama, but LSU ownes them in 'bama. Mark it down!

Music Review - OUR LADY PEACE - Healthy in Paranoid Times

I was happy to see Our Lady Peace was still around and making albums, since so many of my other 90's favorites have hung up their strats. Their career has been a little uneven, debuting with the unspectacular Naveed (1995) but really breaking through with Clumsy (1997). They continued their moody arena-rock with Happiness is Not a Fish That you Can Catch (1999) and Spiritual Machines (2001), both solid albums, but it was Gravity (2002) that really made me a devoted fan. I can listen to that album over and over and never tire of it. It's probably my favorite album of 2002, filled with catchy hooks and great sing-a-ling lyrics, perfect music for a hockey arena full of fans to just explode to. Well, it's been three years and out comes Healthy in Paranoid Times, which is a worse album title then Happiness... It's a good disc, but the instantly catchy hooks and melodies are missing. Instead it's filled with moodier introspective songs, mostly mid-tempo, very U2 ish at times. There is a great arena rock song, trac 4, "Where Are You," and trac 1 "Angels/Losing/Sleep is also a good one. There's also a "Honeydew" moment, trac 9 I believe, that is a swinging beatles-esqu pop song that sounds unlike anything they've ever done, which is good. There's too few moments like that on the album. But I guess it would be impossible to improve on a perfect effort like Gravity, so I shouldn't be disappointed. This album won't win OLP any new fans, but die-hards like myself will enjoy this though repeated listenings.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B-

ALL NEW CAPTION CONTEST

"Da Icy Hot Stuntaz Plumaz"

or my next favorite

"Mommy, why does that truck say ASS TAR PLUMBING?"

Leave Your captions below! And Sign with your Icy Hot Stuntaz name!

p.s. no hard feelings Rob!
Here's another Icy Hot Stuntaz Link
and Name Generator!

Necro out!

CHICKENSHIT!!!

"The play at the end, the call by the officials ... It's flat-out chickenshit, all right? It's a flat-out chickenshit call by that crew, by 95, especially, James (Coleman, the side judge) whatever his last name is. It's a bad call because we took exactly the same play that Atlanta ran trying to block the winning field goal against New England last week and we ran that against them. They didn't call it last week, so I'm telling you it's a flat-out chickenshit call. It was the same exact play that Atlanta ran against New England to block their winning field goal. We are pulling the guy to the outside. You're allowed to pull as long as you're going forward. We pulled to get Jason Craft through. We took the play from Atlanta. Atlanta ran it last week against New England and [the officials] didn't call it last week. And again, I'll say it's a chickenshit call.''

-- New Orleans coach Jim Haslett, after his team was called for defensive holding on a missed 41-yard field goal by Atlanta in a 31-31 game with two seconds left. After the five-yard markoff, Todd Peterson made the winning 36-yard field goal at the gun to give the Falcons a 34-31 win.

That remark will probably cost Haslett 20 G's, but the man definantly knows chickenshit when he see it.

LSU tries to lose, somehow still wins

Watched the game on the HUGE screen at the Alford's, and I'm coming away with mixed feelings toward LSU now. Yes they won. Actually, they totally dominated the Florida offense, allowing only 107 yards passing and 99 yards rushing. Yet they tried to make it interesting for the loyal tiger fans by losing 5 turnovers and letting Florida stay in the game. Joseph Addai is finally being used like a #1 running back. QB JaMarcus Russell was unimpressive, any points he scored with some nice touchdown passes were erased by his inability to keep the damn ball. Oh, well....a win is a win. Alabama and Auburn await.

LSU 21 Florida 17

Meanwhile..... on ABC ....

During LSU we were flipping to the 4th quarter of Michigan vs. Penn State. Wowee Wow Wow. Penn State score 15 points in 17 seconds, a touchdown, fumble recovered for a td, then a botched extra point kick led to a 2 pt conversion. Michigan came back and scored a 2 pt conversion to tie it. Penn State took the lead with 50 seconds left. But Michigan would not be stopped. With 1 second on the clock, Michigan scored on a 10 yard TD pass, Penn State's undefeated season disappeared, and the team stormed the field, including # 8 up there, who lost his helmet so he just turned his baseball cap backwards. He's cool. It was awesome.

Michigan 27 Penn State 25

But the day was not over...

Meanwhile on NBC...

USC, Notre Dame. USC's record unbeaten streak is challenged by a resurgant Fighting Irish, sporting the "Luck O' the Irish" green jerseys. Notre Dame led 31-28, 2 minutes left. USC drove down to the ND redzone, and with time running out, QB Matt Lienert scrambles and runs toward the corner of the endzone, where he's crushed at the 1 yard line, 7 seconds left, and the clock ran down. Notre Dame fans run on the field, they have defeated the mighty Trojans. Wait a sec... on replay you can see Lienert fumble the ball out of bounds before he hits the ground. Put 7 seconds back on the clock, and get those drunk students off the field!. So on the 1, Lienert QB sneaks into the pile, spins left, and fall backward into the enzone. Trojans win, 28th in a row. Still #1. Incredible game, Notre Dame should have won it. Imagine you were a drunk irish fan that ran on the field with 7 seconds left. Haha. You're a dummie! Wowee WOWzery WOW!

USC 34 Notre Dame 31

More you say? YES, there's more....

I didn't stay up to watch it, but somehow Virginia stunned unbeaten Florida State 26-21. Bobby Bowden had this to say, "We couldn't stop that dadgum number 18." That says it all. Virginia fans had no trouble stopping this goal post from standing up, however.

VIRGINIA 26 FLORIDA STATE 21

Not all you say?

Alabama needed a 31 yard field goal as time expired to beat a shitty Ole Miss team and remain undefeated.

Alabama 13 Mississippi 10

Wisconsin was down by 3 to Minnesota with 30 seconds left when they blocked a punt and recovered it in the endzone, thereby winning the coolest trophy in football, Paul Bunyan's Axe!

Wisconsin 38 Minnesota 34

UCLA was down 38-21 in the 4th quarter before exploding offensively and forcing an OT with a TD with 50 seconds left. In OT, Washington State got a Field Goal, UCLA got a TD.

UCLA 44 Washington State 41

Boston College scored the go-ahead touchdown, a beautiful, toe-dragging bomb to the back of the end-zone, to beat Wake Forest with 1:18 left.

Boston College 35 Wake Forest 30

Missouri was down by 10 in the 4th quarter before concluding a game-tying comback with a TD with 20 seconds to play. Iowa State missed a FG in OT. Missouri didn't

Missouri 27 Iowa State 24

West Virginia needed 3 overtimes and a two point conversion to complete an upset of 19th ranked Louisville, and their RB Steve Slaton scored 6 touchdowns!

West Virginia 46 Louisville 44

So, don't you wish you watched Sportscenter last night? WHEW!

It was about the most insane day of college footbal I've ever watched. At least until next week.

Cheetah Sneaks Reunion - 2005

I know I'm late with this pic, but I hope you enjoy it. Here's the Cheetah Sneaks, 2005 edition at the reunion show, September 2005, at Bob's Pub in Lafayette. Left to right we have Neil, Craig, Brandon S., Brady, Brandon D., and Jared. There were a few rough patches, but no one could have guessed we hadn't played together in over a year. Awsome to get Cookie and Brady singing with the band together, too. It was also great to see some die hard fans and support group members like Rob THE BADDEST light guy (retired)(Check out A5 Star Plumbing!) and Blaine, co-exeutive producer of "Sneak Preview." And thanks to the Sugar Cookies for giving us an hour of stage time. It was only about the most fun I've had in years. Thank You everyone.

Movie Review - WAITING...

Director: Rob McKittrick

Staring: Ryan Reynolds, Anna Faris, Justin Long, David Koechner, Luis Guzman, Chi McBride, John Francis Daley, Kaitlin Doubleday, Robert Patrick Benedict, Alanna Ubach, Vanessa Lengies, Max Kasch, Andy Milonakis, Dane Cook, Jordan Ladd

IMDB: 7.2

The first time I saw the trailer for this film, I knew I must see it. I worked in restuarants for 9 years and always thought it would make a funny movie about what goes on in the kitchen, in the wait-stations and by the dumpsters. And just about every joke this film has, I've seen it or done it. Giving "special attention" to a plate of food that's been sent back, hell, I once knew a bartender that stuck his dick in some beeyatchs drink and stirred, before serving it to her. And after a customer leaves a shitty tip, catching him before he leaves and saying, "Hey you left this, you obviously need it more than I do." Saw someone do that too. The flirting with the underage hostess, Check. The lesbian bartender, Check. Busboys getting stoned in the cooler, Check. (cause you can't smell the weed in there.) I've pretty much seen it all.
But there's one thing here that I haven't seen. And it's the basis for the most gut-busting laughs in the film. It's pretty much the central running theme of the entire film. And I've NEVER seen it done in my 9 years of bartending/waiting tables. It's a game the waiters and cooks play called, "The Game." You learn about the game when they train this new waiter and have to show him the rules. I'm not gonna reveal what the game is, becuse it will be so much funnier when you see the film. Trust me. It's all about the game.

The cast is nothing special, but a reletive bunch of unknowns do a good job filling out the all the roles. There's the cool waiter that bangs underage girls, the neurotic waiter that feels like he's wasting his life being a waiter, the nice guy that can't say no to the waitresses when they ask him to take thier shifts (he's also got a hiarious problem with urinating in public bathrooms). There's the slutty waitress, the always on PMS waitress, the stoner, wannabe black busboys, the insane cooks, the wise philosophy-spouting dishwasher, the hottiest of the hot hostess, and the manager that has absolutely no clue that he is the lamest guy in the building. The film is shot in a Bennigans, renamed Shenanigans. It's VERY low budget and has no soundtrack to speak of. But you will laugh and laugh hard, especially if you've waited tables before. This film doesn't score a 7.2 on IMDB, for nothing, and that's a great number for a comedy.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A

OOPS!!!

I forgot a film review in my list of films I watched in Spetember. So I've added my thoughts on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Click here to see the updated page! I'm retarded!

Can't spell McConaughey...

without GHEY!

Did I say delicious? Umm. Uhhh. Well. I meant repetitious! Yeah, that's the ticket! Umm, I think I meant to say demolition! Yeah! Look at dem abs. RRRWWWAAARRRR!

not that there's anything wrong with that.

September's At-Home Movie Reviews

I'm been slacking on my movie viewing lately, not just because I've been busy, but because I've been waching so much TV. Not only all the new stuff on the fall lineup, but I went through the complete series of Firefly and season one of Lost. More on that later. But for now, only 4 films here.

Robots (2005)
Director: Chris Wedge, Carlos Saldanha
Stars: The Voices of Ewen McGregor, Robin Williams, Mel Brooks, Greg Kinnear, Halle Berry, Amanda Bynes, Drew Carey, Jim Broadbent, Paul Giamatti, Stanley Tucci
IMDB: 6.4

This movie generally got bad reviews, but dammit if I didn't enjoy the heck out of it. The story is nothing new: Small-town boy (robot), Rodney (Ewen McGregor sans Obi-Wan accent) goes to the city to pursue his dreams of success (become an inventor). City is in crisis from corporation run by baddies. They're discontinuing the manufacture of spare parts to force eveyone to buy the far more expensive upgraded bodies. No one will do anything until boy shows them how and gives them hope. Yadda Yadda Yadda. But visually, this movie is breathtaking. The complexity of the robot society is so marvelous, you'll rewind to scenes just to make sure you can take in everything that's going on. It's also a huge ensemble cast, which makes Robin Williams usual schtick less annoying. The ending is a huge Braveheart style battle with tons of robots trashing tons of other robots. Another cool thing is the placement of music. You'll hear War's Lowrider, C&C Music Factory's Gonna Make You Sweat, and Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time, amoung others, all in silly situations. That's a big redeaming quality of this movie. It's downright silly. It's not Pixar, but from the maker's of Ice Age, it's the next best thing. Best gag: When Rodney arrives in Robot city, he asks a robot street performer for directions. The street performers begins dancing doing...wait for it....wait for it...THE ROBOT! To Chingy's Right Thuur, no less. SILLY!

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A

Sahara (2005)
Director: Breck Eisner
Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Penelope Cruz, William H. Macy
IMDB: 5.9

Another film that got shit on by critics, Sahara is a an action/adventure/comedy that get's it right, when so many similar films fail miserably. It's based on a novel by Clive Cussler, just one of the umpteenth "Dirk Pitt" book he's published since 1973. I've read 4 Pitt books, and really enjoy them. Pitt is a combo James Bond/Indiana Jones: A treasure-hunting, ass-kicking, hottie-bangin' guy, played deliciously by Matthew McConaughey. The adventure involves a missing civil-war battleship full of confederate gold, a deadly disease outbrake in Africa, and a global environmental disaster waiting to happen. It's fun and funny, mainly due to McConaughey's rapport with one of my favorite actors, Steve Zahn. Zahn (as Al Giordino) isn't so much Pitt's comic side-kick as partner in crime. I've never been impressed with Penelope Cruz, but she's ok in this movie. She's not the helpless female lead, but a sorta-capable hottie who'a also one of the gang with some good funny moments herself. The soundtrack is a major cool factor of the film. What do middle-age diver/navy seal/ working class guys listen to? Classic Rock, baby. And whenever there's a radio present, blaring out of it is some Skynyrd, Grand Funk, Guess Who, or some other classic rock legend. It's a perfect fit. Surprising good directorial debut from Breck Eisner, who it's believed only got the job cause of daddy (and Disney Tycoon) Michael Eisner. I definantly recommend this film. You could do alot worse in the adventure genre. Give Sahara a shot.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B+


The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Director: Garth Jennings
Stars: Martin Freeman, Zooey Deschanel, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Alan Rockman, Warwick Davis, Bill Nighy, John Malkovich, Anna Chancellor
IMDB: 6.7
Another adaptaion from a literary source I've read, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a book considered to be on the level of the Bible by some, and a rambling plotless piece of garbage by others. You really have to love British Humor to like this book. The movie does it's best to Americanise it for the mainstream which hurt the story I think. Just as the Earth is about to be destroyed to make room for an intersellar freeway, Arthur Dent (Freeman) is saved by his friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def) who turns out to be an alien doing research on Earth for a digital encyclopedia called "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." They grab their towels (you'll see)and hitch a ride with Earth's destroyer's, the alien homicidel poetry-loving Vogun, and eventually run into Ford's cousin Zaphod Beeblebrox (Rockwell), who's also the President of the Known Universe and his girlfriend Trillion (Deschanel), who's actually an earthling that Arthur was hitting on at a party a few weeks ago. They're on the run after Zaphod stole the greatest spaceship ever made to pursue the ultimate question. See they've discovered the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is actually 42. So now they have to find the ultimate question. Sound interesting don't it? Well throw in a depressed robot named Marvin (Warwick Daivs in the suit, voice of Alan Rickman), and a planet designer who's really good at making Fjords, and some white mice and you've got this film. You can imagine how hard this would be to really nail in a film. And it is. The cast is good, especially Zooey Deschanel and Mos Def, although it seems a lot of Def's dialog had to be overdubbed. The special effects are spectacular and they do hit some of the right comedic moments. But read the book, skip the film. Or at least read the book first!

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: Book - A, Film - C +

Layer Cake (2004)
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Stars:Daniel Craig, Tom Hardy, Jamie Hawkins, Kenneth Cranham, Michael Gambon
IMDB: 7.4

This film seemed promising because even though it was Matthew Vaughn's directorial debut, he earned major street cred as the producer of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. I figured Layer Cake would fit in nicely with those two, and to a certain extent, it does. British mafia/drug dealers and almost unintelligible accents. But here's how it fails. They forgot the humor. Both Lock Stock and Snatch had me rolling at times, yet I struggled to find one humorous scene in this film. It does have a twisted, convoluted plot, and multiple layers of back stabbing and double crosses, yet for a film with "HILARIOUS" printed in bold across the front of the DVD case, it was disappointing.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: C