Movie Review - BATMAN BEGINS

Batman, how I love thee, let me count the ways. Or I did, that is, when Tim Burton was at the helm and things were nice and dark. Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992) were fine adaptaions of the Dark Knight, played for realism and mood. Then came Joel Schumacher and it all went down the toilet. Day-Glo costumes, idiotic black light sets, and the bat-costume got some nipples. ugh. Jim Carey alone almost saved Batman Forever (1995) but Batman and Robin (1997) effectively killed the super hero genre for years and is the lowest ranked film in my DVD collection. Fade to Black...

2005 and Batman is back. As the title implies, this film does not follow along in the cowl of Keaton, Kilmer and Clooney, but rewinds Batman to the beginning. A fresh start. The franchise was turned over to promising director Christopher Nolan, he of Memento fame. And the American Psycho himself, Christian Bale took up the cape and strapped on the utility belt.

I really enjoyed this film. It took us back to Bruce Wayne and how he evolved into Batman. Here's the orgin finally laid down. His parents were killed by a mugger (how it really happened in the comics), not a young Joker. Here's how he got the cave, the batmobile, the suit, even why he's got those pointy ears and those spike things on his forearm. And why he chose a Bat to pattern himself after. This is very well done and although it takes up the first half of the film, doesn't seem overly long. When Batman finally does appear, we shift to the point of view of the criminals he's beating, so we experience their terror at being stalked, not batman doing the stalking. Here's my complaint. And it is a big one. The number of good fight scenes in this movie is: ZIPPY. None. Every fight scene (with the possible exception of Wayne and Ducard's (Liam Neeson) katana duel on a frozen lake) is shot super close-up and with a hand-held camera. It's shaky and edited with fast cuts that make it impossible to follow the fight and you get no sense of place or movement in the battles. It's really aggravating that a film that gets so much right has such a glaring weakness. There are so many films with great fight scenes, Nolan should have gotten some help.

The cast is truly outstanding, filling out Gotham City with some of the best actors today. Joining Liam Neeson (1 Oscar Nomination) are Michael Caine (2 Oscar Wins, 4 other Nominations) as Alfred, Morgan Freeman (1 Oscar, 3 Nominations) as weapons designer Lucius Fox, Tom Wilkinson (1 Nom) as gangster Carmine Falcone, Ken Watanabe (1 Nom) as Ra's Al Ghul, and Gary Oldman (NO Oscar Nominations!?!? What!?! Travesty!) as a young Sgt. Jim Gordon. Caine gets all the laughs and has some powerful scenes, and Oldman makes the future commissioner Gordon a scene stealer. Cillian Murphy is also good as Dr. Jonathan Crane although the Scarecrow is kind of tossed of as a villain toward the end of the film. Then there's Katie Holmes. I used to love Katie Holmes, back when she made Go, The Ice Storm and Wonderboys (I never watched Dawson's creek). This film makes one thing about the future Mrs. Cruise abundantly clear: She has a F#@&-Up mouth. It crooked and looks like she's biting the inside of her cheeks. It's really repulsive, and I can't look at her again without making that face! UHHGGG. She doesn't do much in Batman, although she's meant to be Bruce Waynes' conscience. He does tell her he's Batman at the end, so who knows what'll happen in the next film. As for Bale, he is amazing. He owns this role, and is a way better Wayne then Keaton, who was the best of the old bunch. Making a super hero believable is not that easy, but Bale is now Batman, forevermore. That's a good thing.

It's good to see DC comics movies getting things right, this bodes well for the upcoming Superman film, and just as the Marvel films are starting to flop (Fantastic Four, Elektra, Blade Trinity). And they even kept the immortal line........."I'm BATMAN!"

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A

Soaked my Butt in the Potomac!

I went whitewater rafting today on the Shenendoah and Potomac Rivers. While this is not a picture of me, it is a dramatic re-enactment of what happened, and that guy taking a closer look at the water is playing "me." I fell into the drink on the last set of rapids and I think our "tour guide" did it on purpose, but it did make the trip a lot more fun. And I got to practice my breaststroke to a small island where my laughing family picked me up. At least Vicki fell in too. Now i'm home and can barely lift my arms to type this. Two hours of paddeling is a hell of a workout! I needed to relax, so I took a bubble bath and listened to the Dixie Chicks. Before you start calling me a fag, I was thinking about the time I had sex with all three Dixie Chicks at the same time in a big bed of flowers. Good thing I snapped some pics! Nootch!

The one downer is my wedding ring now lies on the bottom of the Potomac River. Well, maybe many, many years from now, some "Gollum" like creature will find "My Precious" ring and return it to the world, and many great wars will be fought over it, and some small "Hobbits" will bravely journey to the one place it can be destroyed, "Mt Doom." Hmm, that sounds like a good story, maybe I'll write a book about it.....one ring to.....yeah....hmmmm

June's at Home Movie Reviews

I finally got with "it" and joined an online dvd rental service, choosing Blockbuster online over Netflix. (Saved me Two Dollars!) My new renting powers combine with my new DVD burner to form the ultimate power of a incurable movie collector! So I set about work on my lifetime goal of owning every film on the IMDB top 250 of all-time! I already owned the top 11, on to 12 and 13!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966)

Dir: Sergio Leone

Cast: Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Eli Wallach

IMDB: 8.8 (#12 on Top 250 of All-Time)


Considered THE western, I was surprised to find tGtBatU was not your typical western, at least not to viewers mostly familiar with 80's and 90's gunslinging flicks. It's technically a foreign film, shot by an Italian director, the immortal Sergio Leone. (In case you've wondered what a Spaghetti Western was, it was in the 1960's when a slew of American westerns using Big Name American stars were shot in Europe by Italian directors and crews, because northern (I think it's northern) Italy has an uncanny resemblance to the American Southwest. BUT, this doesn't totally apply for this film because it was shot in Spain. nootch!) This is much more an art film then an actioner. There's no dialog for the first 10 minutes. And there's at least 3 other scenes that just drop all the dialog and just let's the actors act. It is occasionally more conventional, but there's not a lot of gunfights or stunts. Make no mistake about it, this film is about character and setting, so much so that you will appreciate the bond between Leone and his three leads. This is a mood film. The breathtaking scenery blends with the classic score set the stage for double crosses upon double crosses, and although Eastwood is good, Eli Wallach steals the film as Tuco, and he gets all the best lines. Unlike other movies from the 60's, westerns don't age, it's just as relevant today as 40 years ago. A thinking man's western, the kids won't sit through it, but fans of Tarantino will respect it.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B+



One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest (1975)

Dir: Milos Forman

Cast: Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, Brad Dourif, Danny DeVitto, Christopher Lloyd

IMDB: 8.7 (#13 on Top 250 of All-Time)



It's a good film, but a bit overrated and overrewarded. I find it hard to believe it swept the Grand Slam of the Oscars (Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenplay). Jack turns in a classic performance, and the script and direction are fantastic, but Louise Fletcher did nothing I could see for a best actress win. This movie did shape our expectations of what a mental hospital looks like and has been copied ever since. It's a great ensemble cast also, DeVitto, Lloyd, Dourif, Will Sampson, and William Redfield all shine. It probably make a better play then a film. I do hold a grudge however, and just thinking that this film beat Jaws for best picture give me the red-ass.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B




Hotel Rwanda (2004)

Dir: Terry George

Cast:Don Cheadle, Sophie Okonedo, Nick Nolte, Joaquin Phoenix

IMDB: 8.5 (#64 on Top 250 of all-time)

Great picture about the ethnic cleansing in Rwanda and a hotel manager who called in every favor he could to save hundreds of refugees. Don Cheadle was nominated for best actor and he could've won it and got applause from me. He's always been an underrated side player, but he's on of the best actors working today. Not as shockingly revolting as Schindler's List or especially The Pianist, it put the focus on one selfless man's struggle rather then an entire people. This makes this more rewatchable then either of those films. Nolte is pretty good also, after becoming a joke of an actor, maybe he's back on track. Hotel Rwanda is inspiring and you'll come away from it wanting to change the world. All I'm saying, man, is give peace a chance.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A



The Longest Day (1962)

Dir: Ken Annakin, Andrew Marton, Bernhard Wicki

Cast: John Wayne, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Richard Burton, Rod Steiger, Sean Connery

IMDB: 7.7



Caught this on the fourth of July and thought it was really well done. This was probably THE D-Day film until Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers came out. The cool thing is, it covers the botched paratrooper drops and the landing on the beaches of Normandy. It also has scenes with the commanders of the different forces, something the newer World War II films don't show, even the German commanders. (I learned the Germans couldn't call up Panzer Tank reinforcements to stop the invasion because Hitler had taken some sleeping pills and ordered that he not be disturbed!) This makes the scope of the picture huge and so is the cast, which may be it's biggest drawback. Besides Wayne and Mitchum, it's hard to recognize the characters, there's just so much going on. I couldn't even pick out Sean Connery in this pre-Bond film. Also like all films from this era, there's not much graphic violence, just guys clutching their chest and falling down. I think I remember one guy getting shot in the head, but can't remember how realistic it was. Some people think the graphic violence in Private Ryan is too much, but that's really how shitty that war was. The Longest Day is still a great film from an era of ambitious filmmaking and covers all aspects of that incredible day. (TRIVIA - This was the most expensive black and white film ever made...until Schindler's List!) (MORE TRIVIA: Director Ken Annakin also directed the best movie of the 80's, The Pirate Movie!)

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B



Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

Dir: Danny Leiner

Cast: John Cho, Kal Penn, Paula Garces, Neil Patrick Harris, Fred Willard , Christopher Meloni, Ethan Embry

IMDB: 7.1


Loved this movie! I don't watch as many comedies as I used to, mainly because of the garbage Hollywood pumps out, but Harold and Kumar is a worthy addition to the canon of Stoner Comedies! You have to see it to appreciate it. Battleshits! Extreme! Doogie Hauser! Freakshow! The Cheetah! Also has some of the best DVD extras. Just sit and watch the menu and H & K get pissed cause you won't hit "play." I laughed HARD! There's a reason this has a 7.1 on IMDB. Only the best comedies ever crack a seven. I had doubts whether John Cho (MILF!) and Kal Pen could pull off leading rolls, but the hit a homer here. This is a future classic that we'll see endlessly and badly edited on TNT. But we'll watch it everytime.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A



Johnson Family Vacation (2004)

Dir: Christopher Erskin
Cast: Cedric the Entertainer, Vanessa Williams, Solange Knowles, Bow Wow, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Harvey

IMDB: 3.6

You know after you eat a lot of BBQ and just sit on the sofa fat and happy and someone else has the remote and they put it on the channel and fall asleep and you resign yourself to watch whatever is on that channel cause there's no way you're getting up to change it? That's what happened to me and it should be the only way you watch this movie! It's an unashamed remake of the classic National Lampoon's Vacation, but Cedric is no Chevy and this film sucks left and right. There isn't a thing in this movie that makes a lick of sense! Vanessa Williams is still hot, and Beyonce's little sister's in it, as is Shannon Elizabeth, who only has a career cause she showed those Tig Bitties in American Pie. Also has my least favorite King of Comedy, Steve Harvey. GARBAGE!

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: F

p.s. TWO DOLLARS!!

Urban Dictionary Contribution

My latest contribution to the Urban Dictionary ........ ZITTY VON ZITTLES!

I'm PUBLISHED!!

Well, my first contribution to the Urban Dictionary is online! Check it out here, and let me know if you've got any other ... ummm... unique expressions to add!

CD Review - FOO FIGHTERS - In Your honor

The Foo Fighters are fast becoming irrelevant in my music collection, if they continue the trend of releasing worse and worse albums. Well they've broken that trend, but only because 2002's One By One was so bad, not that In Your Honor is all that good.

Riding from the ashes of the drumkit of Nirvana, Dave Grohl blew away critics in 1995 with the Foo Fighters self-titled debut album, which was essentially a Dave Grohl solo album as he recorded everything himself. Who knew he had it in him? It kicked ass and but was only a preview of the follow-up, 1997's The Colour and the Shape. It's one of the great albums of the 90's and established Grohl as a recognizable rock icon. The Foos also showed deft acting chops in some great videos for these two albums, especially the Mentos-parody for "Big Me," the single-shot/burning house rescue for "My Hero", and the dreamy "Everlong," a video that I consider one of the best music videos ever made.

1999's There Is Nothing Left To Lose was somewhat of a misstep, though it was critically adored and won some grammys. Gone were the arena rockers and punk wailing, and here was a more introspective Grohl. "Learn to Fly" was a big hit, but mostly because of another hilarious video. (The Foo Fighter should get a sitcom. It'd be better then 95% of the crap on TV now). But nothing else proved memorable on this album. In 2002, they released One by One, an album that is hardly listenable. Gone are the hooks, the riffs, the melodies. It's heartless songs that you immediately forget. "Times Like These" is the best they had to offer, but if you can find the acoustic version of this song, it's 100 times better then the electric version on the album. Grohl had lost his songwriting touch. It's OK. It happens. Just make a better follow up, and all will be forgiven.

Well, here come In Your Honor, an ambitious double-album split between a rockin' electric Side 1 and a mellow acoustic Side 2. I must admit I dig the first single, "Best of You." It's stuck in my head, which hadn't had a Foo song up there in a while. But it's the highlight of another laborious boring album. Track 1 "In Your Honor" and track4 "DOA" had me hoping for more, and they'll probably be the next singles, but there's nothing else worthy on the CD. It's a virtual copy of One by One I guess, since I can't remember those songs anyway. As for Disc 2, tie it to your tomato pole to scare the crows away. It's worthless. 10 songs which all sound the same, start the same, have the same instruments, the same melody. It's embarrassing.I don't think Grohl has an albums worth of good material left in him. He'll pull a good single or two, but the days of complete winner albums for the Foo Fighters ended in 1997. And while drummer Taylor Hawkins (think Animal from the Muppets) is entertaining and funny, I must wonder why the Foos 2 best albums had Grohl playing drums. I don't know if I'll buy anymore Foo Fighters albums without hearing a major turn-around from them, I'll just wait for the Greatest Hits disc which I'm sure is coming around 2007.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: C

The Sneaky Cheetah's Music Review Archive

In honor of the best selling Sneaky Cheetah's Movie Review Archive, here is the music version in the same vein.

Our Lady Peace - Healthy in Paranoid Times - B-
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor - C
Weezer - Make Believe - A
Def Leppard - Rock of Ages - A+
Def Leppard - The Best Of - A
Best of 2004 - Music Edition
Jimmy Eat World - Futures - B-
U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - B+
Collective Soul - Youth - A-
Green Day - American Idiot - A+