The Sneaky Cheetah Movie Review Archive

Links to all my past reviews. On one handy dandy page. What'll I think of next? There will be a link to this page on the links list for all-time. So let it be written, so let it be done.

King Kong - A
Crash - A
Kingdom of Heaven - B
Elf - B
Kicking & Screaming - F
Closer - A
Ray - A
Saw - B+
12 Angry Men - A
Waiting... - A
Robots - A
Sahara - B+
The Hichhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - C+
Layer Cake - C
Before Sunrise - A
Before Sunset - A+
Empire of the Sun - B+
Rear Window - A
Metallica: Some Kind of Trouble - B
The Bad News Bears - B
Blade: Trinity - C+
Alexander - F
City of God - A
Collateral - A
Elektra - F
Batman Begins - A
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - B+
One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest - B
Hotel Rwanda - A
The Longest Day - B
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle - A
Johnson Family Vacation - F
Garden State - A
Team America: World Police - B
Ocean's Twelve - D
National Treasure - B
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - A+
Sin City - A+
Fever Pitch - C+
Troy - A
King Arthur - C+
Star Wars: Clone Wars - A+
Be Cool - D
Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind - A+
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie - B
Constantine - B
Best Films of 2004 List
Shaun of the Dead - A
Shark Tale - C
Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - A
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy - A+
Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban - A+
Shrek 2 - B-
Alfie - C
Van Helsing - B-
Friday Night Lights - A

Sugary Goodness

Check out the website of these guys, then go check them out live. They're the one and only Sugar Cookies, and dammit they're good. And they're even better with milk. They ain't no stinkin' Girl Scout Cookies either. Just Sugar Cookies. And 3 out of 5 Sugar Cookies wear silly hats.

May's DVD Reviews: GARDEN STATE, TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE, OCEAN'S 12

In an effort to condense my reviews of DVD, I've decided to do them on a monthly basis. So here's the last 3 films I've seen on DVD, best to worst.

GARDEN STATE
Dir: Zach Braff
Star: Zach Braff, Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Ian Holm
IMDB: 8.1 (#213 on top 250 All-Time)

Great little film about returning to your hometown for a journey of self-discovery. Writer/Director Braff (that guy from Scrubs) is Andrew Largeman, an over-medicated struggling actor who goes back to New Jersey for his mom's funeral. He faces problems with his dad and seeing friends he hasn't seen in 9 years since he left. They've become cops, grave-diggers, knights at Medieval Times, and one millionaire who invented soundless velcro. They party and smoke with high school girls. But Largeman discovers vitality and friendship in free-spirited compulsive liar Sam (Natalie Portman). Great performances by Braff and especially Portman. It's a tender story that's not at all sappy, with quite a few laughs. Also has an inspired soundtrack of Coldplay type music. I loved it. Good film to watch with a loved one who loves good films.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A


TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
Dir: Trey Parker
Star: voices of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Masasa
IMDB: 7.3

If you don't LOVE South Park, don't even bother watching this. It's really only a treat to all of us who think Trey Parker is an infallible genius and the funniest person on the planet. We will laugh because we know Parker and Stone do 95% of all the voices. We laugh out loud at the songs they write like "America: Fuck Yeah!", "Montage", and the classic "I'm so Ronery." Watching a marionette vomit for 2 minutes is hilarious to us! And we even thought puppet sex was funny, unless you get the uncensored edition DVD, which goes a little too far. It's a spot-on parody of crappy action movies. Truly hilarious with lines that will be remembered forever. DO NOT WATCH WITH YOUR PARENTS unless you have a really weird relationship with them.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B


OCEAN'S 12
Dir: Steven Soderbergh
Stars: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Vincent Cassel, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner, Elliot Gould, Robbie Coltrane, Scott Caan, Casey Affleck and Bruce Willis
IMDB: 6.0

Just look at the cast on this picture. How can this movie suck so much with such a dream team of stars? Answer: They have nothing to do. All of the "11" crew just sit around a hotel room or a warehouse or a jail cell and do nothing. They barely even talk. I won't even bother using character names here. Garcia tracks down the 11 guys who robbed him in the superior-in-every-way Ocean's Eleven. He'll kill them unless they pay him back. Their solution: rob some more places to pay back the first guy they robbed, with interest. Riiiiight. They go to Europe and unsuccessfully try to rob 2 things. They really don't accomplish much of anything. I'm embarrassed for Matt Damon that they turned his character into such a little bitch. Julia Robert looks BuFugly in this film, while Zeta-Jones is ssssssmoking. There's some plot where they bet another burglar they can steal this egg first, then they all get busted. Spoiler alert: But wait! They actually win the bet because before the egg got to the museum, they SWITCHED BACKPACKS! The happy ending seems to be that they pay back the money they stole from Garcia. I think. Who cares by this point? This film is truly stupid. The cast still shows some ability and there's a few humorous situations, notably with Bruce Willis playing himself, but all the funny scenes looked ad-libbed, so the script must have truly blew. Stay away from this flick. You'll be dumber for having shelled out money to see this.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: D

CD Review - DEF LEPPARD - Best Of or Definitive Collection?

All you faithful Def Leppard fans were rewarded for years of loyalty last year when the band finally released a 2 disc Best of CD called originally enough "Def Leppard Best Of." Unfotunantly, it was only released in Europe and Asia, with promises of a U.S. release with a slightly different track list to follow next year. Well, that day has come with "Rock Of Ages: The Definitive Collection," so now you're faced with a dilema. Which to buy? You've probably worn out 1995's hits disc "The Vault" and are in desperate need for all things Leppard. I sure was, so last year I bought Best Of online and loved it. When Definitive Collection hit stores in the U.S. last month, do you think I would shell out another $15 for ANOTHER Def Leppard collection, knowing I own all their albums already? You betcha, the day it came out. Here's some insight into the differences of the two collections.

The 2 disc are boken up as so: Disc 1 contains all the huge hits that even people who aren't Def Lep fans love. I't almost a carbon copy of the Vault disc. Disc 2 has other lesser hits and important album tracks as well as 1 new song a piece, both of which will appear on an upcoming covers album. BO (Best Of) has the Kinks Waterloo Sunset while DC (Definitive Collection has Badfinger's No Matter What. Both are great, but a slight nod goes to the Badfinger cover. Now for the track differences.

DC get's a nod for having 35 songs to BO's 34. Both albums have the following songs:

2 From 1980's On Through The Night: Rock Brigade, Wasted

4 From 1981's High 'N' Dry: Let It Go, Another Hit and Run, High 'N' Dry (Saturday Night), Bringin' On the Heatbreak

7 From 1983's Pyromania: Photograph, Rock of Ages, Rock Rock (Till You Drop), Foolin', Too Late For Love, Billy's Got a Gun, and Die Hard the Hunter

7 From 1987's Hysteria: Pour Some Sugar on Me, Love Bites, Animal, Rocket, Armageddon It, Hysteria, Women

4 From 1992's Adrenalize: Let's Get Rocked, Heaven Is, Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad, Stand Up (Kick Love Into Motion)

1 From 1993's RetroActive: Two Steps Behind

1 From 1995's The Vault: When Love & Hate Collide

2 From 1996's Slang: Slang, Work It Out

1 From 1999's Euphoria: Promises

1 From 2002's X: Now

Then there's the following songs which only appear on 1 collection or the other.

BO also has Adrenalize's Make Love Like a Man, RetroActive's Action, and X's Long, Long Way to Go.

DC has High 'N' Dry's Switch 625 and Mirror Mirror (Look Into My Eyes), RetroActive's Miss You in a Heartbeat, and Euphoria's Paper Sun

The nod here goes to BO all of whos extra songs deserve to be on this disc, while from DC only Miss You in a Heartbeat is deserving a spot in my book.

The disc's aren't perfect. Too much attention is payed to High 'N' Dry. Slang, Euphoria, and X each desreve more tracks then they get. Where is Stagefright from Pyromania, Breath a Sigh from Slang, Demolition Man from Euphoria or You're so Beautiful from X? These 4 are worthy where some of those early pre-Pyromania songs could've been forgotten. But I'm a fan of 90's Leppard, not just 80's Leppard. I love their newer albums just as much as the hugs 80's hits. So I endorse The Best of Def Leppard, available only in Europe and Asia, and of course, the internet.


I count myself as one of the biggest Def Leppard fans in the world. I still call them one of my top 5 favorite bands of all time, and seen them in concert in 1993 and 1994, and hopefully this summer in Maryland. Bonus points if you can guess the other 4 of my "Top 5."


The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade:

The Best of Def Leppard: A+
Rock of Ages: the Definitive Collection: A

REGULAR JAMES sends Grocery Store Wars!

Here's a link to Grocery Store Wars, one of the funnier Star Wars parodies I've seen, just for somehow naming every character after something in the produce aisle. Cuke Skywalker (Cucumber) is kinda lame, but Obi-Wan Canoli, Princess Lettuce, Ham Solo, C3-Peanuts, Tofu-D2, and Darth Tater kick ass. Also love the Thai-Fighters and the DEATH MELON! but my fav is definantly.......CHEWBROCCOLI!

Thanks to Regular James for her first contribution to the Sneaky Cheetah! Now, don't you wish I'd given YOU a clever nick-name and a shout -out?

DVD Review - NATIONAL TREASURE

National Treasure

The latest film from uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer is an adventurous treasure hunt through American history and the East Coast. This is a popcorn flick to be sure, but it's a fun one for people who know what movies to not take seriously and just let unfold on the screen.

I've always liked Nic Cage as an action hero. He's an A list novie star to be sure, but he continues to take less prestigeous roles in order to maintain some cred. But he's still gotta pay the bills, no here we go. Cage is Benjamin Franklin Gates (groan #1) who's family has been keeper of a secret and a vow to protect the famed treasure of the Knights Templar for hundreds of years. He finally tracks down the first clue to the treasure's location on a old boat frozen in the arctic circle. That clue points to an invisible map on the back of the Declaration of Independence, when Gates refuses to steal it, he's double-crossed by his unscrupulous partner Ian (the forever cool Sean Bean). So to stop Ian from stealing the Dec o' Ind, he must steal it (groan #2). He's got a sidekick Riley (Justin Bartha) and a hottie Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger) to help out. The Declaration leads to Philly for some old Ben Frank Original Glasses, then to NY to an old church. There are many hijinks and twisties along the way. Plus the FBI! Fun for all!

The story is interesting and believable. It's the the intuitive leaps Gates takes to get between the clues that had me shaking my head (groan #3). The action sequences are not overdone which is kinda refeshing in the day of "look how big this explosion is!" Hollywood. The cast is above average with Cage, Bean and Bartha keeping it real and Kruger redeeming her weak performance in Troy (for which I ripped her). Almost thrown away is Harvey Keitel as the FBI guy and the always craptastic Jon Voight (groan #4 ...has he ever made a good film?...look at his resume, The Karate Dog!?!?! wait click that link! a film with Mr. Miyagi, Jamie Pressly, and the voice of Chevy Chase!?!?! How have I not seen this yet?!?)

Overall, I liked this film, there's nothing wrong with a groan or 4. And it's kid friendly fun. Let's just call it the slightly retarded son of Indiana Jones and the Devinci Code.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: B

Movie Review - STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH

May 18th arrived and I officially dubbed it Star Wars day. My wife dubbed it Dork Day, but that's another story for another blog. I had the morning off so I woke up early and watched The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and the Clone Wars back to back to back. This was to prepare me for the midnight premiere of George Lucas' third prequel, Revenge of the Sith.

I've waited a long time for this. A long time. I've watched the 5 other Star wars films more times than I can count. I saw The Empire Strikes Back when I was 5 in a Drive-In Theater. I got the Millennium Falcon for Christmas that year too. I've read 85 different Star Wars novels, George Lucas' biography, and countless SW comics. It's boggles the mind when I think of the amount of my life I've spent playing in the galaxy far, far away. So Sith is the payoff. The last film. The answers to all the questions. Do we fans have something to be proud of again? Does it pay off? Does it work? You bet your sweet ASS it does!

I'll try not to give away any plot points here. I'm gonna assume that my readers have seen the other films and know the characters, their history and their future. I'm just gonna comment on why this film is great and what i felt watching it.

Kal-El and I journeyed to the theater about an hour early and I popped in the Sith soundtrack. It made me smile so big, my mouth hurt. I'm gonna be smiling in giddy pleasure throughout this whole movie, I thought. Well, I was wrong, but for all the right reasons.

The first half of this movie is the most fun in ANY Star Wars film. There's humor, action, actually good dialog, good acting, incredible effects. It was perfect. Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christiansen) face impossible odds and a suicide mission with jokes and camaraderie. I realized they're not just Jedi, they're Super Heroes. They never think they're gonna fail in their mission and can overcome any situation. And they're right. We also get a lot of laughs from R2-D2 here. Finally.

After this awesome battle and rescue, the film slows down and Lucas has his hardest challenge: Anakin must turn to the Dark Side. How does Darth Sidious get someone to betray his friends and Jedi brothers? By becoming a better friend to him. Anakin is reaching out to the Jedi in every scene here: Obi-Wan, Yoda, Mace. But only Obi-Wan trusts him. The Jedi council is wary of his power, his quick ascension from Padawan to Knight to Galactic Hero, and his friendship with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmond). Palpatine is the only one who offers Anakin answers, guidance, and loyalty. This theme is built upon for a good half hour, and the moment of truth comes at the end of Mace Windu's (Samuel L. Jackson) purple lightsaber. Does Anakin let the Jedi kill his mentor and friend (Palpatine) or does he turn on the Jedi who don't trust him and hold him back? The kicker is he believes Palpatine holds the key to saving his wife Padme's (Natalie Portman) life. So he turns for love. It's twisted and not entirely convincing. The audiance was actually laughing during this scene because of Palpatine's over the top "Save Me, Anakin!" routine and Gollum impression (you'll see). But once he turns, there's no going back. He's in it to win it, all the way.

You won't smile much for the rest of the film. It's freaking grim. You'll see the deaths of all the character's you've come to know in the last 2 films. Only Obi-Wan, Yoda, Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits) and the droids survive (and C-3po has his memory erased). For Star Wars, this is uncharted territory. The purging of the Jedi is rough. Anakin's murderous rampage will mess up some little kids that see this. And the pain in both Anakin and Obi-Wan when they duel is real and intense.

I will not compare it to the original trilogy. I saw those films as a kid looking for an adventure in a different world. They weren't movies to me, they were other worlds that actually existed. But I will say Sith kicks the ass of TPM and AotC. There's still some weak dialog (witch is the ultimate reason I and II fail), but the acting by Christiansen, Portman and McGregor is greatly improved. And it's downright scary how much Ewan McGregor mirrors Sir Alec Guiness. It's uncanny. Also there's not many stupid lines from unnecessary minor characters with horrible accents. And no words from Jar-Jar! The battle droids seem to have developed some personality and I know people will crack on this, but I liked it. This film does elevate the first 2 in my eyes. I doubt I'd watch them sigularly, but as part of a whole (the 3 prequels or all 6 films) it works.

The film succeeds perfectly at bringing us full circle, with the ending foreshadowing the opening scenes of the original Star Wars. Stunning is the only way to describe it for a true Star Wars fan. When the credits rolled, there was a little applause, but mostly people where reflective. There was no laughing leaving the theater. It was like a funeral. In fact in more ways then one, it was. A funeral for the lost Jedi, for Padme, but mostly for Anakin. He doesn't just put on a suit to be Darth Vader. He transforms, he ceases to be Anakin Skywalker. It's also a funeral for the Star Wars films. The last performance. The circle is complete.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A+

I Could Kick a Dog's Ass!

You know, I think I could kick a dog's ass if one tried to attack me. Not a little yappy dog either, I'm talking bout a killer, like this pooch up there. There's been alot of this in the news lately, these dogs killing kids and old folks, but I would just beat the living shit out of a dog if it came at me or my kid or my old folks.
I think I would Crane kick that Dog right as it jumped for my throat. Right on the chin. That would stun it for sure. There's no way I'm letting that Dog anywhere near my head. But it wouldn't end there. That dog might bite my arm or something, but i've seen enough wrasslin' in my younger days to pull off a supplex on that damn dog. BAM! If 280 lbs of me lands on that Dog, it's gonna at least break a few ribs. Then I'd poke it's eyes out, then rip it's nose off, so it couldn't smell me, then shove it's nose in it's ear, so it couldn't hear me.
"You better enjoy the taste of my arm Dog, cause you just lost 3 of your 5 senses!" I would tell the Dog.
Then I'd Cheetah Sneak that Dog about 20 times in ten seconds, to get him to let go of my arm. And don't let there be a tree or boulder around, cause I'll put the KaMala splash on that Dog's ass! Oh YEEAH!
Anyway, that's what happened to the dinosaurs. Humans got tired of their shit, always biting cavemen and eating cavebabies and cave-old-folks. So they and beat them up. Real Bad.

Vote in the Poll!

NATS WIN! GNATS WIN! HOLY COW!

Well, I caught my first Washington Nationals game Sunday, when they beat my precious Cubbies 5-4. It was fun taking the Metro (that's the DC Subway for you country folk) to crappy, falling apart RFK Stadium (Home of the DC United!), walking past the hordes of bootleg merchandise venders outside the stadium, the 100 foot lines for a $7.50 Italian Sausage, grabbing a couple $6 beers (in a plastic bottle and yes, they're spectacular!) and sitting in the upper deck, straight away center field. About as far away from home plate as you can get. But we had a good view of Greg Maddux's pitching, and hey, how many future Hall of Famers have YOU seen pitch? Some of the people I was with had trouble naming even one Nationals player, but I bet they won't forget the name of that guy who hit that home run! Nats won, 5-4, scoring the go ahead run when the cubbies 2nd baseman booted a weak grounder. Funniest part of the game was when in the 5th, Maddux seemed to be in control, up 4-2, when he complained to the ump that the pitcher's mound was falling apart. In come the grounds crew to fix it up with their little rakes and shovels and pails. The crowd boos Maddux relentlessly. That must have bothered Mr. Cy Young, cause he walked Jose Guillen and gave up a 2 run bomb to Nick Johnson. (Hey, I didn't say I didn't know their names!) Then it took a good 2 hours to squeeze on the metro and ride it home, like a bunch of cattle stampedeing accross the long grassy prairie. RAWHIDE! I'm going to go try to find a Nick Johnson jersey on the net now. Go Gnats!

Slappy Cat

Furl the Squirrel finally contributes to the Sneaky Cheetah, whether he knows it or not! Furl is a mutant who's power is to find absolute silliness on the interet. Hey, not everyone has super strength or can fly. Here's what he found: (make sure your speakers are on)

http://www.mightytiki.com/backend/catdrum.htm

See what I mean? Silly!

Movie Review - SIN CITY

You've never seen a film like this before. Combining groundbreaking technology and film techniques, risk taking directors, and a classic stories told with modern interpretations, Sin City will be remembered for a long time, and is the most fun I've had at the movies this year.

Sin City is a series of critically acclaimed comics and graphic novels by master story teller Frank Miller. It's a unique comic, ultra-violent and super sexual told in large blocky black and white art. Go to a bookstore and flip open a Sin City graphic novel and you'll see exactly what ends up on screen.

Attribute this accuracy to maverick filmmaker Robert Rodriguez. After wowing the festivals with El Mariachi in 1992, he helped shape the 90's crime-film resurgence with Desperado (1995) and From Dusk til Dawn (1996). Then he he decided to make some movies for his kids. The result was the extremely successfull Spy Kids (2001), Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (2002), and Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003). In these films he pioneered green screen film techniques that would serve him so well in Sin City, a film shot entirely on green-screen, with no sets or locations. Earlier this year Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow did the same but with less ambition and style. Rodriguez was a big fan of Miller's work, but Miller had been reluctant to sell the film rights to Sin City. To get the job Rodriguez shot his own short film to show Miller. The gamble paid off and that short became the opening "Josh Hartnett" scene. Quentin Tarantino is credited as a guest director, but he only directed the "driving to the tar pits" scene. (Cameo: you also see Q.T. at the end of the film sitting next to Marv in the strip club watching Nancy dance! Rodriguez also makes a cameo in the bar wearing a white cowboy hat and Frank Miller shows up as a priest!)

The film is actually three separate short stories which take place during the same time in Basin City. I don't want to give away too many spoilers so the plot summaries will be short. After the Hartnett open, we start story one "That Yellow Bastard." Bruce Willis plays Hartigan, a hard-boiled police detective a day from retirement, chasing a senator's son (Nick Stahl) who is a murdering child rapist and has kidnapped a 11 year old girl. Hijinks ensue. He stops the crime and everyone gets shot up but he ends up taking the fall for the whole thing. Off he goes to jail.
Cut to story two, 8 years later: "The Hard Goodbye." Mickey Rourke is Marv, a hulking brute who hooks up with hottie Goldie (played by Jamie King and her huge breasts) and after waking up finds her murdered in bed next to him. Here come the police, Marv realizes a frame job is on, so he busts out kicks some cop-ass and swears to avenge Goldie's death. The shit that follows is stuff you thought you'd never see on film. It's brutal, it's sexy, it's funny. Wow. Marv kills a lot of people and the hijinks include Goldie's twin (also played by King), Kevin (Elijah Wood), a cannibalistic killing machine, Lucille (Carla Gugino and her huge breasts), Marv's dike parole officer, Cardinal Rourke (Rutger Hauer) and a hungry German shepherd.
Onward to story three: "The Big Fat Kill." We've got uber hottie Brittany Murphy as Shellie. (I think I love Brittany Murphy so much because she always plays slutty characters. Hey, who doesn't like a good slut every now and then?) Her new boyfriend is Dwight (Clive Owen), her old boyfriend is Jackie Boy (an almost unrecognizable Benicio Del Toro). Dwight, meet Jackie Boy. Jackie Boy, say hello to Dwight. Jackie Boy's head, say hello to the toilet you just pissed in. What a crazy world of hijinks ensue here. This story revolves around the uneasy truce between the hookers of Sin City and the Police. The hookers control their part of town and the Police leave them alone. We meet sexy boss hooker Gail (Rosario Dawson), nervous sexy young hooker Becky (Alexis Bendel), sexy ninja hooker Miho (Devon Aoki), and Michael Clarke Duncan as kingpin-like crime boss Manute. Some crazy shit happens here. Also the funniest scene involving and arrow through a thug's chest. There's no other way to describe it then "crazy shit."
Back to story one! Hartigan's been in jail 8 years. The 11 year old he saved writes him letters every month. Then the letters stop. He make a deal with the DA and the crooked senator (Powers Boothe) who's been holding him in prison and he gets out to look for the girl, Nancy. Well, now she's 19 and a stripper played by omega hottie Jessica Alba. But Hartigan's been set up to lead the senator's son to his victim from 8 years earlier. And we meet the Yellow Bastard. No, seriously, he's a yellow bastard. More Hijinks! End Film (Whew, that was the SHORT version!?!?!?)

Sin City is so accurate to the comics because the Rodriguez and Miller realized that in the form of the comics, they already had the film story-boarded out. There's no credited screenwriter, just "stories from the works of Frank Miller, shot, directed and edited by Robert Rodriguez." This was such a risky project that didn't want to be touched by a boring non-risk taking Hollywood, and it pays off HUGE! I can't stop thinking about the film, the coolest film of the year. It's currently the only film from 2005 on the IMDB top 250 of all time, sitting at #126 (OF ALL TIME!) and sporting an 8.3 out of 10 imdb user rating. See this film in a theater, but don't bring your children or your mom!

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A+

Movie Review - FEVER PITCH

Another Date Night folks, another harmless Romantic Comedy. Fever Pitch is a solid film that breaks no new ground and but is still entertaining, exactly what I expected from it.
But considering this is a film from Peter and Bobby Farrelly, that's saying something. These brothers brought gross-out and whince-inducing comedy to new highs in the 90's with a string of classics like Dumb & Dumber (1994), Kingpen (1996), There's Something About Mary (1998) and Me, Myself and Irene (2000). They stumbled a little after that, trying their hand at animation with Osmosis Jones (2001), fat suits in Shallow Hal (2001) and conjoined twins in Stuck on You (2003). So in keeping with the theme, let's try something new again, non-offensive, non-gross RomCom. They grabbed the script based on the book by Nick Hornby which was actually about soccer. Cast solid female veteran lead Drew Barrymore and up-and-coming male lead Jimmy Fallon, mix, bake and serve.
Fallon plays Ben, a high school math teacher who take his class on a field trip to this huge corporation where they are shown around by high powered business girl Lindsey, played by Barrymore. Fallon asks her out, she wonders whether she should stoop so low as to date a teacher, but decides to give it a try. They date all winter and everything is cool until spring. Baseball Season. It turns out Ben is an obsessive Red Sox fan and between March and October his only love is the Boston Red Sox. Hijinks ensue.
Fallon does a better then expected job here. My expectaions were low going in to this film, so that was a pleasent surprise. He actually displays some decent acting. Barrymore is cute and ok, but this is not a real stretch for her. The romance aspect is done well, and they're both two extremely likable characters.
The baseball aspect is hit or miss. Here's the behind the scenes story. A major aspect of the film is that the Red Sox never win, and always let down the fans. The film was originally intened to end with the Sox losing, just like normal. Only while they were filming, the Sox made a playoff run. And WON! And played the most incredible post season in the history of baseball. The filmmakers scrambled to re-write the ending, and shot Fallon and Barrymore at the actual playoff games. During game 4 of the World Series, the stars had tickets and were in the stands and charged the field when the Sox won. Here's the problem. The film ends during game 4 of the ALCS, when the Sox turned it around against the Yankees. That's good. But then we're treated to a "Well, you know what happened next" montage. That lasts about one minute. It feels rushed and tacked on, and it could have been so much more. What a waste of a once in a century opportunity.
More Red Sox winning it all would have pushed this film from good to great. Still, you could do much worse then renting this on a saturday night. On a final note, in true Farrelly style, this films has on of the best vomitting scenes in movie history. It's not a visual gross out, but it is hillarious on the strength of the sound and situation. I was rolling.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: C+

The Bus - Trusty Mules MVP, 2004

So I was hanging out with Jerome Bettis and I said, "You know, Bus, because of you I won my Fantasy Football League." And he said, "Really? Well then why don't you split some of your winnings with me?" To which I replied, "Don't push it Bus, or you won't be my keeper next year!" We laughed and laughed! Then we went bowling.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Dude

Well, It looks like you all really love Spider-man, or the only people who vote on my polls are Peter Parker, Mary Jane, and Aunt May. Spider-Man is winnning or tied for the lead in the Best Film of 2004 poll with 23% (Tied with Anchorman and Kill Bill vol. 2) and Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 are leading the best Marvel Comics Film Poll, with 43% and 29% respectivly. I almost put Spider-man into the newest poll, but I know all you fools would vote for him. Ta-Ta