DVD Review - TROY

My second epic movie view this month is Wolfgang Peterson's TROY, starring Brad Pitts' naked hip. You see alot of it in this film. They throw this in for the ladies. Actually, this film is almost a chic flick, disguised as an epic war film. Let me explain.

Agamemnon (Brian Cox (X2, Braveheart)) is a Greek warlord who is uniting all the Greek kingdoms by force, in order to form a single nation he can turn into a world-dominating empire. He does this not by warring with thousands of soldiers, but by challenging another kingdom's champion to duel his champion. Loser's kingdom bows before the winners. Well, Agamemnon's champ is Achilles (Pitt), the greatest warrior on Earth. Before long, all of Greece is united under Agamemnon's banner.

Meanwhile, Agememnon's brother Menelaus (Brendon Gleeson (28 Days Later, Braveheart) is negotiating a truce with Hector (Eric Bana (Hulk) and Paris (Orlando Bloom (Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean), the princes of Troy, a rival kingdom across the Aegean Sea. Paris falls for Menelaus' wife Helen (Diane Kruger (National Treasure) and when the Trojans leave, she leaves with them cause she wants more Trojan lovin'. This puts Hector in a tight spot. Let Paris keep Helen and start a war with Greece or turn them over to Menelaus who will surely kill them (and don't call me Shirly!). Of course, he chooses to save his little brother and thereby doom thousand of Trojans and Greeks to death in the coming war! Way to use the ol' nogin!

Menelaus pleads to Agamemnon to make war with Troy to regain his honor, and since Aggie was gonna go to war anyway, they decide to sail with the larget army the world has ever seen. With them are Achilles his squad of ancient commandos and other heros like Odysseus (Sean Bean (Lord of the Rings, National Treasue), and Ajax (Tyler Mane (Sabertooth in X-Men and former WCW wrassler "Big Sky"). Problem is Achilles hates Agememnon and doesn't particularly have any reason to fight the Trojans, he just want his name to live forever as the greatest of warriors. Well, the Greeks land on the beach at the great walls of Troy (like China) and hijinks ensue.

This film is incredible. I just had to wait til after the plot summary to give my opinion, and well this one the most enjoyable epic since, well, Return of the King, but not since Gladiator before that. I must compare it to that turd of a movie King Arthur since i watched them back-to back. This film has passion, motivation, and acting! Everyone in it is on their A-game, even the limited Orlando Bloom, who plays the same character in all his movies (Legolas/Will Turner/Paris = the same thing). Pitt gives a strong leading role but in my opinion the film is stolen by Eric Bana, and now all is forgiven for the way he mailed it in as Bruce Banner. Hector is torn by love for his brother and responsibility to his people, responsibility to his wife and child or his honor as a Captain of Troy. Then scene when he says goodbye to his wife and son killed me! Special nods also to Sean Bean, who is impressive in every scene he's in (far too few scenes in my opinion) and the immortal Peter O'Toole as Priam, king of Troy (nominated SEVEN times for acting oscars and never won, till they gave him an honorary one in 2003). The only weak acting is from the women here. Diane Krugar is hardy impressive as Helen, whose beauty started the whole damn war, and Saffron Burrows (as Hector's wife) and Rose Byrne (as Achilles love-slave) are not memorable. There is some actual loving here, compared to the no sex in sight King Arthur (if you got Kiera Knightly, USE HER!)

The fight scenes are hands down the best ever. Better than Gladiator's. Troy shows you how soldiers REALLY fought with a spear and shield, and how Achilles could defeat a 7 foot dude in the first swing of combat. Achilles vs Hector had me at the edge of my seat. You actually saw some intelligent tactics used in this war. Wolfgang Peterson does his homework. He's got some good films in his pocket like The Perfect Storm, Air Force One, and In the Line of Fire and if you haven't seen Das Boot, you need to go back to film school.

(Trivia Time folks, Betcha didn't know did you know Peterson also directed the ultimate childhood fantasy film of the eighties, The Neverending Story?)

I truly enjoyed watching this, and can't find anything to worth complaining about. The characters make life or death decisions and must face the consequences, and we see people feeling actual pain over the deaths of loved ones. It's a powerful movie and written so that you don't know if you should pull for the Trojans or Achilles. This is definantly one to own.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A