One Hell of a Weekend in LA

After 5 months of the Mid Atlantic, I returned to South Louisiana to celebrate the wedding of my sister Vicki and my friend Neil. This was by far the most fun I've had since the Cheetah Sneaks rocked Downtown Alive! (in May!) I was really stressed as I waited in Dulles airport to fly down to New Orleans. I don't know why exactly, I was just really nervous and stressed out. The flight was uneventful except when Dominic decided since he was in a plane, he would drop some bombs. Twice. One highlight was getting some good ol' Cajun home cooking. Red Beans and Sausage, Shrimp and Andouille Gumbo, Boudin, Jambalaya, I had it all that weekend. But the first 2 days down were just a buildup for the 3rd night: The Bachelor Party.

Neil's Bachelor party was about three things: Beer, Yelling, and Pissing. 20 guys rode a trolley around Lafayette for 4 hours and drank three icechests of beer, yelled at every ho on the street, and baptized various streets, walls, dumpsters, and cars with gallons of recycled beer. Some highlights include drinking beer, yelling at ho's and peeing a lot. It was interesting when that skank jumped on the trolley and said "Why am I the only girl here?" To which 2 guys simultaneously exclaimed "Because you're stupid, bitch!" And two other unsuspecting and not quite as skanky ho's jumped on board at the strip. We drove away then when we stopped to piss at the parking garage downtown, they escaped. As far as the pissing, we hit cars, a jeep, some walls, the street, a fence, dumpsters, a pile of bricks, not to mention some urinals, a sink, and a garbage can. And that's all I saw. We should have known all this free peeing would get us in trouble, we just didn't think it would be Mike who got busted. After leaving the one bar we stopped at and walking about 40 feet, Mike decided to loose the hounds one more time behind a dumpster. He was spotted by one of Lafayette's finest, who immediately called for backup. 3 officers later mike got a public indecency ticket (or maybe littering?) and the trolley rolled on. There was the unwise trip to Simco, singing along to Cheetah Sneak classics and the night finally culminated with Cookie pulling a spider monkey. I won't explain what that is. You had to be there.

The only thing missing was a lack of strippers and female nudity, but I'd trade that for any chance to hang out with Brandon, Cookie, Neil, and Rob. We could have sat at a table in Bob's Pube all night and I would have been happy.

The wedding was just as fun. Good ceremony, except for a rambling, uncomprehensible sermon by the JotP. After walking out to the sound of "Let's Get it On," the party started. Vicki looked beautiful, the building was full, the drinks were flowing. We danced, we sang, we toasted, we partied. All my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins were there (except for the two "black sheep" of the families.) Dominic tore up the dance floor with his 3 cousins. Dad did the freeze! Little Dave got plastered. Brady forgot his coat. Some single people hooked up with some other single people (allegedly!). It was a classic Southern Wedding.

It was with great regret that I returned to Virginia, Sunday. Louisiana may be an economic turd, but it's home. And it's not just the presence of family and friends, though that is a huge part of it. It's driving roads that I've driven since I was sixteen. Going to the mall I spent so much time at eleven years ago. Eating at the restaurant my wife and I had one of our first dates at. Knowing where to get the best boudin in the world from. Walking into a bar downtown and seeing someone i used to work with 5 years ago. Tailgating before a college football game, knowing half the people outside the stadium won't even go in the stadium. Opening the newspaper and seeing stories about the Saints. Cruising through my hometown and seeing houses covered in toilet paper, knowing I was doing the same thing at the same time to the same houses when I was a high school senior. That's Louisiana for me. That's home.