Before you see this move, remember one thing. This is not a popcorn movie. This is not a blockbuster. Some films try to be a little more by giving us a little less. Wes Anderson is the new master of this type of film. If you liked Anderson's last film, The Royal Tenenbaums, you'll love this. If you hated Tenenbaums, don't bother here. Go rent Chronicles of Riddick.
I thought this movie enchanting from start to finish. Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) is a Jacque Cousteau clone, traveling the oceans of the world with his intrepid crew, and filming documentaries about undersea life. While shooting his latest Doc, Steve's best friend Esteban (Seymour Cassell) is eaten by a huge new species of shark, which Steve dubs the Jaguar Shark. But Steve droped the camera when Esteban was devoured, so none of his contemporaries believe his tale. He vows revenge and mounts an expidition to "find it and destroy it, possibly with dynamite." He is joined by an incredible cast of actors including his wife Elanor (Angelica Huston), first officer Klaus (Willem Dafoe), pregnant reporter Jane (Cate Blanchett), rival oceanographer and Elanor's ex Alistair Hennessey (Jeff Goldblum) and Ned Plimpton (Owen Wilson) who claims Steve is his long-lost father.
The acting here is truly great. I can't think of another ensemble cast that shines like this one. Even the normally weak Owen Wilson does the best work of his career in this film. And this allows Wes Anderson to truly explore his characters. He doesn't use a lot of cutaways and coverage shots, prefering to stay on a two shot of two characters interacting and let the actors do thier thing. He follows his cast in and out of rooms instead of editing his way through a scene. The coolest shots are filmed on a giant cross-section of Steve's ship. Imagine a ship cut in half from top to bottom and built on a life-size scale. It looked like the Hollywood Squares set. But as the cast wandered from room to room, the camera simply followed, passing through walls and up stairs. It was cool. Besides the set and the exotic locations, this film looks like it was made for about $1000. It's grainy and has not been digitally fixed up. The only special effects are the wierd undersea creatures which are claymation and reminded me of the creatures in Beetlejuice. There are a few shoot-outs, which look very fake. Not a lot if effort was put into those scenes but it was an intentional move. It adds to the lunacy of where this film takes you. It's not an obviously funny movie, there's no zingers that go for the cheap joke, but you will laugh out loud at some of the dialogue.
Wes Anderson has directed 4 films now (Life Aquatic, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, and Bottle Rocket), all of which are rated a 7.4 or above on IMDB. He is a genius of a screenwriter and getting better as a director. Again this film is not for everyone, but it is supremely rewarding to those who "get it."
The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
DVD Review - ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGANDY
I love Saturday Night Live. I don't get to watch as much as I did a few years ago, but whenever I get the chance, or catch reruns on cable, I watch. And I'll make the argument that Will Ferrell was the greatest cast member ever (at least tied with Belushi). Every move he makes and word out of his mouth is comedy. Ferrell was good in Zoolander and Old School, but he's now getting leads and so far, with Elf and Anchorman, he's 2 for 2.
There's a reason this movie feels like an extended SNL sketch.Besides Ferrell, it was co-written and directed by Adam McKay, an SNL writer/director from the late 90's. The jokes fly fast and from all directions. It goes in directions you don't anticipate and I believe much of the movie was ad-libed. The actors spontaneously break into song, the movie slips into an animated sequence,
and in the most insane scene, rival TV personalities engage in a Gangs of New York/Gladiator style rumble.
Ron Burgandy is the anchorman in at the #1 news station in San Diego. He's the toast of the town and living big, until a his station hires a female reporter Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) who has her eyes on Ron's anchordesk. Insanely silly comedy insues.
The cast is incredible. Ferrell's Ron Burgandy is accompanied by reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koecher), and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carrell). The fab four of San Diego news have a solid rapport, and even sing in 4-part harmony. Keep you eyes open for extended cameos from Vince Vaughn, Tim Robbins, and Ben Stiller as rival anchormen and Jack Black as a biker.
If you don't laugh your ass off during this movie, you have no sense of humor. A day after I watched this movie, I wanted to watch it again. There's plenty of catch-phrases here that i'll be using for years(ala` Pootie Tang!). I think it's the best comedy since Spaceballs. And if you know me, that's saying a lot.
The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A+
There's a reason this movie feels like an extended SNL sketch.Besides Ferrell, it was co-written and directed by Adam McKay, an SNL writer/director from the late 90's. The jokes fly fast and from all directions. It goes in directions you don't anticipate and I believe much of the movie was ad-libed. The actors spontaneously break into song, the movie slips into an animated sequence,
and in the most insane scene, rival TV personalities engage in a Gangs of New York/Gladiator style rumble.
Ron Burgandy is the anchorman in at the #1 news station in San Diego. He's the toast of the town and living big, until a his station hires a female reporter Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) who has her eyes on Ron's anchordesk. Insanely silly comedy insues.
The cast is incredible. Ferrell's Ron Burgandy is accompanied by reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koecher), and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carrell). The fab four of San Diego news have a solid rapport, and even sing in 4-part harmony. Keep you eyes open for extended cameos from Vince Vaughn, Tim Robbins, and Ben Stiller as rival anchormen and Jack Black as a biker.
If you don't laugh your ass off during this movie, you have no sense of humor. A day after I watched this movie, I wanted to watch it again. There's plenty of catch-phrases here that i'll be using for years(ala` Pootie Tang!). I think it's the best comedy since Spaceballs. And if you know me, that's saying a lot.
The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A+
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Do You Believe in Miracles?
I know it's long, but please give it a read.
“The League was full.”
That was the response given to Jared Bourgeois when he inquired about owning a team in the C-Span Fantasy Football League.
“This is a keeper league and we have a full 16 teams.”
“Well, keep me in mind in case anyone bails out,” he said.
Nothing more was said until August twenty-first. Draft Day. Comisioner Mark DiFilippo approached Jared with an offer.
“Well, someone bailed out, so the team is yours if you want it. But the draft is finished so you’ll have to take the team as is.”
Jared thought about it for the barest of seconds.
“I’m in!”
Coach Bourgeois overcame incompetant keeper selections, a pitiful draft, opening day injuries, having to win a tiebreaker to make the playoffs, and consecutive games against the three best teams in the league. This is the story of the ultimate underdog, the quintessential Cinderella Story. This is the story of the most unlikely championship in the history of sports. This is the story of The Trusty Mules, 2004.
Bourgeois looked over his three keepers with dismay. Running back Warrick Dunn split carries with TJ Duckett and quarterback Jeff Garcia was starting over with the Cleveland Brown. Only the Tennessee Titans Defense looked promising. The Draft offered little relief:
QB Mark Brunell - WAS
RB Marcel Shipp - ARZ
RB Chris Brown - TEN
RB Jerome Bettis - PIT
TB Aveon Cason - DAL
WR Deion Branch - NE
WR Kevin Johnson - BAL
WR Brandon Lloyd - SF
WR Bobby Engram - SEA
WR Michael Jenkins - ATL
TE Eric Johnson - SF
TE Erron Kinney - TEN
K Jay Feely - ATL
D Cowboys
ST Vikings
ST Raiders
What no one in the C-Span league knew was that Bourgeois had learned the ropes of fantasy football in the Picante Fantasy Football League in Lafayette, LA. He was the only two-time winner of that league, and was fresh off a championship in 2003. He immediately went to work on improving his team.
Of his entire team, only the Titans and Cowboys defense ranked in the top 20 of their position at the end of 2003. Then Marcell Shipp went down with a fractured fibula. Out for the year. Aveon Cason was mired at the back of Dallas’ depth chart, so he and Shipp were cut before week one. Baltimore’s backup RB Chester Taylor was acquired, knowing starter Jamal Lewis would be suspended sometime this year by the NFL. He provided solid points in weeks 7-14 when Lewis was suspended and injured. The Mules also grabbed Mark Boerigter, who promptly ripped up his knee in the last preseason game, out for the year. Bourgeois quickly scooped up LSU star WR Michael Clayton, in his rookie season with Tampa Bay. He would finish the season with 192 points, 13th among NFL WR's. It was the first of several inspired additions made from the free agent pool.
From the start, running backs were the strength of the Mules. Newcomer Chris Brown averaged 18 points a game in the fist eight weeks. Warrick Dunn averaged 13 ppg, and turned in a clutch playoff performance, scoring over 20 points in all three playoff games. He was one of only FOUR players to remain on the Mules roster from start to finish. (J. Bettis, D. Branch, and E. Johnson were the others). As for Bettis, he went from being a touchdown vulture (8 ppg in weeks 1-6) to the Mules MVP (17 ppg in weeks 7-16)
In week two, starter Deion Branch went down with an injury that would sideline him for 9 weeks. And it soon became clear Michael Vick didn’t know Michael Jenkins was even on his team, judging by the amount of passes thrown his way. Jenkins was cut and the Bengal's third string WR T.J. Houshmanzadeh joined the Mules. After 11 weeks of pitiful performances, Housh caught fire in week 12 and contributed heavily in the Mules playoff run (101 of his 153 points in the final six weeks).
TE Eric Johnson remained the Mules starter all season and finished 4th in points among TE. Though he topped 15 points 3 times in the first 5 weeks (scoring a mammoth 31 in week 5!), the rest of his season was a disappointment as he battled injuries. TE Erron Kinney went down in week three, remaining injured for 7 weeks. He was let go long before that.
Becoming desperate for a solid wide receiver, Bourgeois tried Ike Hilliard (whom he played against in high school) and Troy Edwards, cutting Kevin Johnson (41 points on the season) and Brandon Lloyd, a move he would regret when, after scoring only 3 points in the first 4 weeks, Lloyd would average 10 ppg in the next 10 games. Both additions proved ineffective and neither Hilliard (3 ppg) nor Edwards (4 ppg) would remain a Mule for long.
In week 5, an unknown RB named Mewelde Moore was added when Bourgeois discovered he would be starting for the depleted Vikings. Moore averaged an amazing 23 ppg for three weeks before succumbing to injury, helping the Mules collect some much needed wins.
In week 6, Bourgeois grabbed the Bears Defense to replace the Titans and Cowboys, both of whom finished in the bottom 8 defenses by the end of the year.
Quarterback was a real problem for the Mules. Mark Brunell was horrible and benched by week 10. Jeff Garcia started hot (23 ppg in weeks 1-7), then was injured, out for the season by week 12. David Garrard was a temporary stopgap in weeks 10 and 11, scoring 50 points in relief of Byron Lewtwich, but returned to the bench in week 12. Shaun King and Trent Dilfur were both added but quickly discarded when they were benched after their respective starters returned. In week thirteen, Bourgeois made a bold move, trading the powerful Bears D for QB David Carr. Carr only averaged 16 ppg for the rest of the season, but it was enough to solidify the QB spot for the Mules.
For the remainder of the season, Bourgeois used a combination of the Vikings, Titans, and Cowboys D (who were cut but later re-signed), playing on favorable match-ups with weak offenses. Though these three Defenses finished near the bottom of the league, they combined for 11 ppg over the last 5 weeks. The Bears D averaged 6.5 ppg in the final 4 weeks.
Fearing injuries to his running backs, Bourgeois added injured Dallas RB Julius Jones in week 11. Jones went from insurance policy to fantasy dynamite when, after scoring 1 point in weeks 1-10, averaged 22 ppg in the final 7.
Knowing his wide receivers were his weakness and shooting for a playoff spot (the Mules' record was 7-4 at this time), Bourgeois traded star RB Chris Brown to Chuck George’s I’ll Make You Famous! Team for WR Donald Driver and WR Amani Toomer. It was a huge one-sided trade as Brown scored 26 points the rest of the year while Driver put up 16 ppg for the Mules, finishing as the 10th best WR in the league.
The next week, Bourgeois gambled again and scooped up Kansas City’s third string RB Larry Johnson, to replace Brown. Johnson is the reason for the Mules Championship, averaging an ungodly 30 ppg over the final 5 weeks.
The final piece of the playoff puzzle was when, in week 13, Bourgeois cut struggling kicker Jay Feely and grabbed Pittsburg’s Jeff Reed. Reed finished the year as the 5th most productive kicker in the league.
By week 12 the Mules were 8-4, mostly because of an easy schedule. Playoffs were on the horizon and they only needed one more win to clinch a wild-card. They lost the next two games and ended 8-6, tied with division rival Joe Teeples’ Respect my Authoritah. But the Mules won the tiebreaker by virtue of their two wins over Teeples’ team. They snuck in the playoffs as the lowly 6th seed.
Their first challenge in the playoffs were 3rd seeded Going Down, coached by Paul Munson, who were 11-3 but led the league in total points by a wide margin.
TRUSTY MULES 163
GOING DOWN 134
Next up was the #1 seed, the 15-0 UNDEFEATED Philly Pharts, owned by football guru Art Tiller, master of the trade.
TRUSTY MULES 175
PHILLY PHARTS 101
One team stood in the way of the Mules and the C-Span Fantasy Football Trophy. The # 2 seeded, 12-3 Sexual Chocolate, owned by Dennis E Baltimore. 2nd best in total points, 2nd best in record. But they had won the Mules’ own division, beating the Mules TWICE in the regular season.
TRUSTY MULES 190
SEXUAL CHOCOLATE 152
The Mules had turned in their 3 highest scoring weeks of the season in the three playoff games, knocking off the 3 best teams in the league with a new owner and a team of castaways and free agents. This story should be made into a movie. Thank you, Trusty Mules, for a season dreams are made of.
Jared Bourgeois
“The League was full.”
That was the response given to Jared Bourgeois when he inquired about owning a team in the C-Span Fantasy Football League.
“This is a keeper league and we have a full 16 teams.”
“Well, keep me in mind in case anyone bails out,” he said.
Nothing more was said until August twenty-first. Draft Day. Comisioner Mark DiFilippo approached Jared with an offer.
“Well, someone bailed out, so the team is yours if you want it. But the draft is finished so you’ll have to take the team as is.”
Jared thought about it for the barest of seconds.
“I’m in!”
Coach Bourgeois overcame incompetant keeper selections, a pitiful draft, opening day injuries, having to win a tiebreaker to make the playoffs, and consecutive games against the three best teams in the league. This is the story of the ultimate underdog, the quintessential Cinderella Story. This is the story of the most unlikely championship in the history of sports. This is the story of The Trusty Mules, 2004.
Bourgeois looked over his three keepers with dismay. Running back Warrick Dunn split carries with TJ Duckett and quarterback Jeff Garcia was starting over with the Cleveland Brown. Only the Tennessee Titans Defense looked promising. The Draft offered little relief:
QB Mark Brunell - WAS
RB Marcel Shipp - ARZ
RB Chris Brown - TEN
RB Jerome Bettis - PIT
TB Aveon Cason - DAL
WR Deion Branch - NE
WR Kevin Johnson - BAL
WR Brandon Lloyd - SF
WR Bobby Engram - SEA
WR Michael Jenkins - ATL
TE Eric Johnson - SF
TE Erron Kinney - TEN
K Jay Feely - ATL
D Cowboys
ST Vikings
ST Raiders
What no one in the C-Span league knew was that Bourgeois had learned the ropes of fantasy football in the Picante Fantasy Football League in Lafayette, LA. He was the only two-time winner of that league, and was fresh off a championship in 2003. He immediately went to work on improving his team.
Of his entire team, only the Titans and Cowboys defense ranked in the top 20 of their position at the end of 2003. Then Marcell Shipp went down with a fractured fibula. Out for the year. Aveon Cason was mired at the back of Dallas’ depth chart, so he and Shipp were cut before week one. Baltimore’s backup RB Chester Taylor was acquired, knowing starter Jamal Lewis would be suspended sometime this year by the NFL. He provided solid points in weeks 7-14 when Lewis was suspended and injured. The Mules also grabbed Mark Boerigter, who promptly ripped up his knee in the last preseason game, out for the year. Bourgeois quickly scooped up LSU star WR Michael Clayton, in his rookie season with Tampa Bay. He would finish the season with 192 points, 13th among NFL WR's. It was the first of several inspired additions made from the free agent pool.
From the start, running backs were the strength of the Mules. Newcomer Chris Brown averaged 18 points a game in the fist eight weeks. Warrick Dunn averaged 13 ppg, and turned in a clutch playoff performance, scoring over 20 points in all three playoff games. He was one of only FOUR players to remain on the Mules roster from start to finish. (J. Bettis, D. Branch, and E. Johnson were the others). As for Bettis, he went from being a touchdown vulture (8 ppg in weeks 1-6) to the Mules MVP (17 ppg in weeks 7-16)
In week two, starter Deion Branch went down with an injury that would sideline him for 9 weeks. And it soon became clear Michael Vick didn’t know Michael Jenkins was even on his team, judging by the amount of passes thrown his way. Jenkins was cut and the Bengal's third string WR T.J. Houshmanzadeh joined the Mules. After 11 weeks of pitiful performances, Housh caught fire in week 12 and contributed heavily in the Mules playoff run (101 of his 153 points in the final six weeks).
TE Eric Johnson remained the Mules starter all season and finished 4th in points among TE. Though he topped 15 points 3 times in the first 5 weeks (scoring a mammoth 31 in week 5!), the rest of his season was a disappointment as he battled injuries. TE Erron Kinney went down in week three, remaining injured for 7 weeks. He was let go long before that.
Becoming desperate for a solid wide receiver, Bourgeois tried Ike Hilliard (whom he played against in high school) and Troy Edwards, cutting Kevin Johnson (41 points on the season) and Brandon Lloyd, a move he would regret when, after scoring only 3 points in the first 4 weeks, Lloyd would average 10 ppg in the next 10 games. Both additions proved ineffective and neither Hilliard (3 ppg) nor Edwards (4 ppg) would remain a Mule for long.
In week 5, an unknown RB named Mewelde Moore was added when Bourgeois discovered he would be starting for the depleted Vikings. Moore averaged an amazing 23 ppg for three weeks before succumbing to injury, helping the Mules collect some much needed wins.
In week 6, Bourgeois grabbed the Bears Defense to replace the Titans and Cowboys, both of whom finished in the bottom 8 defenses by the end of the year.
Quarterback was a real problem for the Mules. Mark Brunell was horrible and benched by week 10. Jeff Garcia started hot (23 ppg in weeks 1-7), then was injured, out for the season by week 12. David Garrard was a temporary stopgap in weeks 10 and 11, scoring 50 points in relief of Byron Lewtwich, but returned to the bench in week 12. Shaun King and Trent Dilfur were both added but quickly discarded when they were benched after their respective starters returned. In week thirteen, Bourgeois made a bold move, trading the powerful Bears D for QB David Carr. Carr only averaged 16 ppg for the rest of the season, but it was enough to solidify the QB spot for the Mules.
For the remainder of the season, Bourgeois used a combination of the Vikings, Titans, and Cowboys D (who were cut but later re-signed), playing on favorable match-ups with weak offenses. Though these three Defenses finished near the bottom of the league, they combined for 11 ppg over the last 5 weeks. The Bears D averaged 6.5 ppg in the final 4 weeks.
Fearing injuries to his running backs, Bourgeois added injured Dallas RB Julius Jones in week 11. Jones went from insurance policy to fantasy dynamite when, after scoring 1 point in weeks 1-10, averaged 22 ppg in the final 7.
Knowing his wide receivers were his weakness and shooting for a playoff spot (the Mules' record was 7-4 at this time), Bourgeois traded star RB Chris Brown to Chuck George’s I’ll Make You Famous! Team for WR Donald Driver and WR Amani Toomer. It was a huge one-sided trade as Brown scored 26 points the rest of the year while Driver put up 16 ppg for the Mules, finishing as the 10th best WR in the league.
The next week, Bourgeois gambled again and scooped up Kansas City’s third string RB Larry Johnson, to replace Brown. Johnson is the reason for the Mules Championship, averaging an ungodly 30 ppg over the final 5 weeks.
The final piece of the playoff puzzle was when, in week 13, Bourgeois cut struggling kicker Jay Feely and grabbed Pittsburg’s Jeff Reed. Reed finished the year as the 5th most productive kicker in the league.
By week 12 the Mules were 8-4, mostly because of an easy schedule. Playoffs were on the horizon and they only needed one more win to clinch a wild-card. They lost the next two games and ended 8-6, tied with division rival Joe Teeples’ Respect my Authoritah. But the Mules won the tiebreaker by virtue of their two wins over Teeples’ team. They snuck in the playoffs as the lowly 6th seed.
Their first challenge in the playoffs were 3rd seeded Going Down, coached by Paul Munson, who were 11-3 but led the league in total points by a wide margin.
TRUSTY MULES 163
GOING DOWN 134
Next up was the #1 seed, the 15-0 UNDEFEATED Philly Pharts, owned by football guru Art Tiller, master of the trade.
TRUSTY MULES 175
PHILLY PHARTS 101
One team stood in the way of the Mules and the C-Span Fantasy Football Trophy. The # 2 seeded, 12-3 Sexual Chocolate, owned by Dennis E Baltimore. 2nd best in total points, 2nd best in record. But they had won the Mules’ own division, beating the Mules TWICE in the regular season.
TRUSTY MULES 190
SEXUAL CHOCOLATE 152
The Mules had turned in their 3 highest scoring weeks of the season in the three playoff games, knocking off the 3 best teams in the league with a new owner and a team of castaways and free agents. This story should be made into a movie. Thank you, Trusty Mules, for a season dreams are made of.
Jared Bourgeois
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